Back to the musical core
...and re-emerging on social media
Chrysalis mode
I declared my musical independence 3 years ago this week, on Jul 4 2021.
I chose that date intentionally, to lean into the courage and freedom it represents for so many.
On the surface, this declaration made little sense. Unlike iconic musicians like Prince, George Michael, or Taylor Swift, I wasn’t signed to a record label, feeling shortchanged, and wanting to regain control of my master recordings. I wasn’t even a professional musician.
Instead, it was the declaration of a much deeper desire, to free myself from my socially-conditioned ego, and to honor the call of my soul to make music.
This wasn’t my first professional pivot. I’ve navigated several career changes, some exciting, others nerve-wrecking. I knew I’d be in for a period of learning and growth, so I set up the boundaries I needed, to give this new work the best possible chance of success.
I went almost cold turkey on social media, stopped socializing with the non-musicians in my life, and dove in to what it means to be a musician, including what makes the music industry tick.
I was in full chrysalis mode.
Beast mode
Focusing on just one musical skill would’ve kept me busy enough. Each instrument (e.g. voice, keyboard, guitar), or area of expertise (e.g. performance, songwriting, music production, marketing) holds its own lifetime of mastery.
But I’m far too curious to confine myself to a single piece of an industry, or professional, puzzle. I needed to understand how, and why, all the pieces exist.
The music industry is chaotic at the best of times. Trying to make sense of it at the height of the pandemic, when musicians were forced online whether they wanted it or not, was a mixed blessing. It sent my empathy & intuition into overdrive. When it all became too much, I eventually had to learn to compartmentalize the pain I was absorbing, from musicians and their fans alike.
And yet, it ended up being the perfect time for me to become a musician. Industry norms were being questioned and upended, and newbies like me had a virtual front-row seat to it all.
I devoured every online class, industry conference, and musician livestream that resonated with me. My inner knowledge-seeking beast was in high gear, and I refused to let any learning opportunity pass me by.
Integration mode
A few months ago, I pressed pause on this frenetic pace.
Newton’s First Law was in full effect - my body was in motion and wanted to stay in motion - but my soul said it was time to re-calibrate, and I was starting to experience familiar sensations of a potential burnout.
I was also hitting an artistic wall. There was a growing disconnect between the authentic sounds and impulses emerging in me, and the viewers who were showing up to my livestreams. Any artist worth their salt is constantly exploring and evolving into new sonic or lyrical territory, but some fans aren’t always along for the ride. I was beginning to experience, and understand, that first-hand.
Soul mode
These last 3 years have a been a firehose of musical information. I’m developing as a vocalist, songwriter, producer, and livestreamer…and loving it all.
I’ve met musicians who ply their craft in dozens of ways, for hundreds of different and equally valid reasons. Some have regular piano bar or restaurant gigs. Others have robust indie careers and singer-songwriter discographies, while a few have built fan bases that allow them to sell out live tours.
All of which begged the question: what’s my place in the world of music? And does/should a late bloomer like me even have a place?
There’s something magical about making music in this season of life.
I’ve gathered, and stored, thousands of songs in my head. Technique takes a backseat to feel, and my experiences bring deep emotion to my performances.
Joni Mitchell’s rendition of “Both Sides Now,” at the 2024 Grammys, amply demonstrates the majesty of seasoned artistry.
Here’s a direct quote from a livestream chatter earlier this week, after I’d shared my eclectic and genre-bending approach to music:
Art and music is an overflow of the soul. It has zero to do with genre and everything to do with authenticity and revealing your soul. Most are too afraid to do so. People are longing for authenticity! It means being vulnerable.
This is wonderful, and wonderfully interesting, because it’s juxtaposing an age where music is becoming increasingly commodified. DSPs (digital service providers) like Spotify offer music on tap with paltry compensation to musicians, and auto-tuning and AI are turning songs into bland and unrealistic experiences.
So, while I don’t have the stats to prove it, my livestream chatter’s yearning for authenticity is palpable. I feel it when I perform for, or interact with, a fan. I recognize it when I see a fellow musician doggedly ply their craft from a deeper well. And I trust this way of making music will find ever more enthusiastic ears.
(Returning to) social media mode
This week, I began the journey out of my self-constructed chrysalis. Fortified by this renewed sense of place, I’m finding the signal within the noise of my 3-year deep dive.
I love making sounds that defy categorization. As musicians, we’re a sum of the sounds we’ve absorbed, and my lived experience across multiple careers and continents virtually guarantees a genre-blending style.
This requires extensive musical knowledge, masterful skills, and a knack for tuning in to what fans most need to hear.
It’s a very tall order and, in my quiet moments, feels overwhelming. That said, I find strength and comfort in this ancient Chinese saying:
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” - Lao Tzu
Last night, I took that first step on YouTube, by posting a re-imagined cover of the beloved Chaka Khan classic “I’m Every Woman.”
It took everything in me to hit that “publish” button…but I finally did, and my take on this song is now out in the world.
Unbeknownst to me when I was producing and recording it, this song was Chaka Khan’s debut single. What a synchronistic blessing, to get to christen my YouTube journey with her first musical declaration to the world.
I hope you’ll do me the honor of liking/commenting on this video on YouTube, and subscribing to my YouTube channel. 🙏